In every horror movie, there are specific archetypes of almost every personality you can think of. There’s the jerk, the jock, the dork, the genius… You get the idea. But what if were in a horror movie? How do you think you would fare?
As it turns out, that’s not really up to you, but the stars. Your fate is reliant on your personality — as any shlocky slasher film can attest to. So, if you’re at all curious to see where your fate stands, keep reading to find out how long you would survive in a horror movie, based on your Zodiac.
In most horror movies, there is “the opening kill.” Sadly for you, you wouldn’t even make that cut. You’d be killed off so quickly that you’d have hardly made it through the opening credits. In fact, you wouldn’t even get a credit in those credits. Sorry.
You would die second to the opening kill, which basically means your death is probably the least memorable in the film. After the first death, people are sad. But after the second, everyone is just worried about themselves. Sorry, Libra.
You were on your way out of the story after the first death, but you were somehow convinced to stick around. If you had listened to your instincts, you’d have been halfway across the country, as far away as possible from the menace that was plaguing your town. Alas, you didn’t follow your gut, and were one of the first few people to bite the dust as a result.
You would be the crabby character who’s killed off-screen. No one really knows when you died or how quickly or slowly it happened — they just eventually find out that it happened. If nothing else, you add to the killer’s body count, so that, uh… counts for something. Right?
We all had hope for you, but your recklessness just simply got the better of you. Instead of just sneaking your way through the final act, you had to show off how clever you are. But at least it gave audiences some gratuitously gory imagery.
You would die halfway through the movie because your arrogance would get the better of you. When you and your friends split up, you’ll be the one who just insists that the creepy basement is actually safer than the car out front with the keys in the ignition. Stubbornness kills, apparently.
You surprise everyone by sacrificing yourself. While everyone else panics their way to the end, you were busy figuring out a plan to get everyone to safety — and to corner to the killer for the final face-off. Sadly, even though you were something of a bada**, your lifespan was a weak-a** b*tch.
You would survive for as long as your selfishness could hold. Through the entire movie, you spend your time outrunning your friends so that they’d be picked off first and sacrificing anyone just to survive. But karma will catch up with you eventually — gruesomely, as it were.
You’d be the likable, but ultimately helpless, friend whose sole purpose is to basically protect the main character up until the bitter end. One of you had to go, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the character with less emotional depth.
You would survive up until the very end — because that’s typically when the killer meets his or fate. That’s right, all along, you were the killer. But was anyone surprised? No. Even at your best, you’re an obsessive powerhouse of a maniac. Did you really not see this twist coming?
You would be, as Hollywood calls it, the Final Girl. Which means you’d survive to the end. You’ve got the skills to help to the end, but don’t think you’re getting off easy. Though you may have survived, you’ve got to deal with the nightmares that come with witnessing all of the horrors you’ve seen.
You would survive, but audiences wouldn’t know this unless they stick around for the post-credit sting. Seeing as you’re always one step ahead of the curve, you’ve been hiding while everyone else was dying. Surely, you’ll be in the sequel. But, really, that just means you’ll have more opportunities to die.